tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60902300944344113342024-03-05T00:04:11.973-08:00Our Life, Our Family, Our Love.karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.comBlogger70125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-44722768419519506132015-08-23T22:07:00.002-07:002016-01-04T06:41:45.527-08:00Be At Peace<b> Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him. </b><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"> Psalms 37:7</span><br />
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I closed my eyes and prayed. Begging God to show me what is next. <br />
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"What do I need to do? What do you want to show me? I am ready! I am so ready to put it all down and follow. I just need to know. Show me what I am to do and I will do it!"<br />
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And I sit there. In the still darkness. And I wait.<br />
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Thoughts that are stern yet quiet echo in my head. Words that I don't really want to hear. "Be at peace. Be still and be at peace."<br />
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I just wanted to yell, "What?! That is it?? I want something bigger!"<br />
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I have had 3 children in 3 1/2 years. In my 10 years of marriage, we have moved 7 times. My house; full of always hyper children is not peaceful. My heart; full of longing: wanting and needing more doesn't know peace. My head; swirling anxious thoughts and always trying to figure out the next plan is not at peace. I don't know peacefulness. <br />
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I didn't realize that. <i>How could I not have realized that? </i><br />
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I realized that I can't even pray without trying to answer my own prayer. I can't just let the worries of my heart go and trust. I think I can do it.. but it doesn't last longer than a day. I am always doubting, always wondering if He really got it, does he REALLY understand how important this is? Was that a sign or was I trying to MAKE that a sign? My mind is always on go. Never stopping, never still.<br />
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I am not at peace.<br />
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I think God is trying to teach this stubborn and impatient child that maybe my "something bigger" will take a year, maybe 10 years. Maybe it won't be what I am praying for but will turn out to be something even better. I'm not supposed to know, I'm just supposed to trust and put all of my faith, trust and love in HIM. Something great IS in store for me, I know this without a doubt. But I need to go through this famine of quiet first. Learn to be at peace. And trust.<br />
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<br />karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-80877710844928948982015-08-05T09:18:00.004-07:002015-08-05T19:26:48.556-07:00Uncomfortable<i><span style="font-size: large;">"I believe that God totally, absolutely, intentionally gives us more than we can handle. Because this is when we surrender to Him and He takes over, proving Himself by doing the impossible in our lives."</span></i><br />
<i>-Katie Davis, </i><br />
<u><i>Kisses From Katie: A Story of Relentless Love and Redemption</i></u><br />
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I'm realizing more and more how God wants us to be a bit uncomfortable. The past 10 months or so have been some of the worst yet best moments of my life. I have never felt so out of control of my life, my emotions, my body, children and safety. I have slowly learned that it is OK to not be in control of it all. When "I know best", when I am doing it all so perfectly, I am not relying on God to help me. I am now at the point as a Christian parent when my kids are really fighting and I feel so unsure about how to handle it, I take a moment and pray about how to best handle the situation. I pray for patience when I feel myself losing my temper. I pray for forgiveness and humble feelings when I let my anger get the best of me and I need to apologize to my kids.<br />
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I NEED God in my life. I am so far from being perfect and if I was perfect, I wouldn't be able to trust and have faith in my creator. I think to the really tough times in my life.. While at the time I felt so alone and empty and scared... it was Hell and I was so confused and not even sure about God anymore. I decided to still keep going with my faith no matter my doubts and feelings. To trust God the best I could. To talk with Him about my doubts and fears but also follow him as completely as I could. Those turned out to be my best moments, my best faith walks with Jesus. I realized I am not enough and I wasn't created to be enough. I learned when I put all my faith in God, even when it doesn't make much sense at the time, He will not disappoint. That doesn't mean life will go without a hitch, it doesn't mean that I won't have tough times but it does mean I am not alone and God will see me through those times with Him by my side.<br />
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So here is a thought.. A rather unsettling thought but maybe, just maybe God wants us to be a bit uncomfortable in our lives because how do we put our faith and our trust in God if we have it all under control ourselves? That isn't what we were created for and we all have something much bigger and better and so AMAZING planned for our life if we just let our control go.<br />
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<i>I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.</i><br />
<i>Romans 8:18.</i>karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-15519913997523763612013-02-21T21:01:00.001-08:002013-02-22T05:10:52.840-08:00Kind of.. Lumpy??<div style="text-align: center;">
<em>"We may be different from the rest</em></div>
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<em>Who decides the test<br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Of what is really best?"</span><br />-"Misfits" from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer</span></em></div>
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So the past 3 years (since Noah was born, to be exact) I have turned from my smooth-as-butter ways to a bit more crunchy. </div>
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"HUH?" you ask? Well if you aren't familiar with the term "crunchy" in the parenting world, it's a more natural, eco friendly, holistic way of parenting. Often paired with co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, non vaccinating, not letting baby cry, baby wearing, cloth diapering, baby food making, oh and plenty more, but I think you get my drift. </div>
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So yeah.. Noah somewhat converted me. I have no idea how or why, but he did. Compare me to the mom I was with Claire and then with Noah and in some ways its like night and day. My love was all the same, of course but I did things differently. I think some reasoning behind it was because I knew Noah was going to be my last so I wanted to try it a different way. Also with having 3 kids, making baby food, breastfeeding and cloth diapers just made sense and saved money. Then something happen. I actually started to like it. </div>
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But here's the problem.. I'm not actually a "crunchy" mom. I'm kind of like a misfit here, living in my own little misfit land where I don't belong in the "Crunchy Mom" group, yet don't belong in the "I Think Crunchy Mom's are Crazy" group either. It seems you have to be one or the other- who knew?!</div>
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Luckily as I am getting older (or maybe moreso since my kids are getting older) those labels aren't so defining, they don't seem to matter as much. But just tonight as I was slathering myself with coconut oil and drinking a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar and listening to my hippy music (lol, just kidding, I don't have hippy music.. or do I?) it just got to me. Why must we have labels? As moms we need support from each other so badly and while its so great to find others that have your interests, these labels make it so darn hard. Especially for a newer mom. At this point in my life as a mom I really don't give a what, but I did a few years ago. I was a impressionable young mom who didn't know what the heck she was doing and didn't really have any friends with kids. so every comment I heard about other labels really stuck with me. </div>
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Now I don't care much about these dumb labels and not feel pressure to be "crunchy" ..or smooth(??) because I guess I'm a little bit of both. I have found (am finding) what works for me. And it's fun! These crunchy mom have a lot of neat-o ideas, and maybe, just maybe I can talk to them about how badly I want to have my own chickens in my backyard, (lol) without them looking at me like I'm crazy. But alas, I know I am not a crunchy mom. I'm just a mommy misfit. and that is Ok ! </div>
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To my fellow mommy misfits: let us break down those labels and just be moms that support and love eachother.. how about it?</div>
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<em>"We're a couple of misfits<br />We're a couple of misfits<br />What's the matter with misfits<br />That's where we fit in!</em> "</div>
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karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-89831114669900257322013-02-21T08:21:00.003-08:002013-02-21T08:39:11.573-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<em>The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sunscorched land
and will strengthen your frame. <br />Isaiah 58:11</em></div>
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Hi, my name is Kara and I am not a perfect mom. And that's OK.<br />
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Phew, that feels good!<br />
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I think it's so important to remember that as much as a mom may seem her life is perfectly put together, somewhere she struggles. Some moms struggle more then others. Some struggles are in plain sight while others are better hidden. But we all struggle. We all have insecurities, worries and things we aren't very good at. I feel as though maybe my list of insecurities, worries and things I am not good at may just happen to be longer then the next mom but who really knows, because we have all gotten so very good at hiding. <br />
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I have so many mommy friends that are <em>such great</em> mommies. Its important to remember they have their battles, their struggles as well. Its great to look at their good qualities and take notes, to become refreshed and learn something from them. It's also important to not compare yourself to them or be too hard on yourself. There is so much pressure to do everything right, to not screw up. The thing is, we will screw up.. so many times. I often think that if I don't get this parenting thing right then there is a very good chance that I will screw up my child. That is A LOT of pressure!! <br />
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The thing is (and this is so important yet so easily forgotten) that it's not all on our shoulders, it's not supposed to be. We aren't alone, we don't hold our children's fate in our imperfect hands. We have help (breath sigh of relief) now if only we would let Him help us more. This is my biggest struggle. Its not that I want to do it all myself, I will gladly accept help. I just selfishly get so caught up in my own life, my own struggles that I forget that there is God, just waiting for me to let Him in.<br />
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I have a challenge for myself.. I want to start every day with a prayer: offering God to help me parent. To stay organized, to not let anger and impatience get the best of me. I want to end every day asking for forgiveness when I let laziness overcome my day, or let my anger show itself too quickly, too harshly. when I snap at my children for being too slow, or not learning their life lessons quick enough. Lastly, I want to thank God for giving me a new day, a chance to have a fresh start.<br />
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I don't think it's bad to want to be better, I think its good to see these seemingly "perfect" mothers and take notes, I really do. But it's important to remember that they have their struggles as well and that we have help, if we would just ask for it. we aren't doing this alone. Our children belong to God, we need to have Him help us parent them.<br />
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So when you are having a bad mom day, accept that this happens, because it WILL happen. It doesn't define you as a parent, it doesn't make you a bad mom, it make you a NORMAL mom. Remember tomorrow is always a new day. try to find a moment of peace and say a prayer. and remember you aren't alone.<br />
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<em>So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.</em> <br />
<em>Isaiah 41:10</em>karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-79977751779628724582013-01-04T13:24:00.000-08:002013-01-04T13:28:43.788-08:00Oh hey there.<h4 style="text-align: center;">
<span class="text Heb-3-4" id="en-NKJV-30000">For every house is built by someone, but He who built all things is God. </span></h4>
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<span class="text Heb-3-4"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><strong>Hebrews 3:4</strong></span></span></div>
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Hey! Its been awhile since we've seen each other ;) lets start this post off with a brief recap of my life the past few months..<br />
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In the spring while living in South Carolina I had a big, sad moment of missing my family in PA. Knowing we would want to move within the year, but not knowing how or if Hubby will get a job that will relocate us, I started worrying.. and crying a lot. Then I told myself to shape up, I don't need to worry about this stuff, I have a wonderful God that will worry about it for me! Lucky me, huh?<br />
So every night, or really any time I felt the worry creep up on me; (and boy did it like to creep up on me!) I said a prayer and reminded myself that God knows what he is doing, and that is enough. <br />
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Come June, Hubby got a call telling him about a job that he may be interested in and it's about an hour and a half from "back home". He gives them his resume in June he has a interview in July and in August he starts the job! God is <strong>GOOD</strong>! <br />
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I will gloss over the agonizing 2 weeks without <span style="background-color: white;">Hubby</span> while I was trying to deal with moving and 3 kids (thankfully we had movers help, but boy was it stressful with 3 kids and no husband!) yes, those two weeks are best not mentioned and altogether be forgotten about. <br />
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Soo here we are living in a townhome temporarily.. making this home number...6? in our 7.5 years of being married. And guess what? We'll be moving AGAIN in the spring! Only WAIT! this home will be our home that we lay our roots down. It will be <strong>OURS</strong>. I'm so very excited. We will be a half hour closer to "home" making it almost exactly an hour away. It's funny how I used think living 20 minutes from my parents was so painfully far away. After moving 11 hours away from them, I am happy to be soon living an hour away. I am just very grateful that I have parents and In-Laws that I so badly WANT to live near! We are so very lucky for that!<br />
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I can't wait to go on this journey of seeing our house being built and decorating it, exploring our new 'hood. There has already been many things along the way to stress me out but it's still fun and darn it, I will not let it get the best of me! It almost did, but I just have to refocus and take a break sometimes. <br />
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I know I have been annoying people about my dilemmas with the house: paint colors.. floors, cabinets, counter tops- ugh. So hopefully I can just stop all that blabbering and keep the house talk to here on my blog as not to annoy anyone else. That is except for a few that are closest to me, they will have to endure it all, sadly. (sorry hubby, mom and my dear W.S. friends - you know who you are :)<br />
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So if you are interested, stay tuned! If not.. I'll let you know when it's safe to come by again :)<br />
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XOkaragraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-49248597848481045462012-02-07T12:14:00.000-08:002012-02-07T12:30:41.291-08:00Dear Diary.. I'll let you in on an (embarrassing) secret: I have been running for over a year, wanting to be able to run a 5K and I still can not run 3 miles without being in pure exhaustion. "Well Kara, why? A year is more then plenty of time to train!", you may say (or think). You know what? I am not sure why. But I'll tell you this much, something is stirring inside of me. something is stripping me to my core and really getting to me. Something is making me totally and utterly break down in tears after my runs. And I have a hunch that running isn't what is causing it, but running is exposing it. <br />
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I want to be good at things. I can honestly say that I don't think I am good at one thing in my life. I am OK at some things, I do very well with things sometimes, but I am not, nor have I have ever been consistently<em> good</em> at anything. I keep hearing that God gives everyone a gift. I can't help but give a sour little laugh when I hear that. What's my gift? Maybe if I consistently followed Jesus and gave my life to Him better than I do, my eyes would be open to that gift that I guess I must have somewhere hidden inside of myself. But we all know I'm not very good at following through with things (oh, you didn't know? Well now you do!) so being the "Good Christan" I need and so want to be is so very hard for me at times. <br />
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When I discover something, I get excited about it and want to do it, but in a matter of time I just stop. I never finish what I start. Everyone knows this about me, My husband , my parents. They don't say it to me, they don't put me down or remind me about it, they are far too kind and good to do that, but it's something that we all know about me and it's really just hanging over my head at all times. It's almost as though I don't want to bother to start anything if I know I won't finish it. It gets hard and I stop. I don't push on, I figure it's just one of those things I'm not good at. I let these things hold me back. I'm scared of embarrassing myself and most of all, I'm scared of failure. I'm realizing that I'm not going to have anything I want if I don't allow myself to fail. But I'm scared. I feel like I have failed at enough. I'm not really sure if I can do it any more. I hear about people that have learning disabilities and they overcome it, they work hard and fight and work through it.. and I wonder HOW? How do you not let that stop you? If you have a brain that feels like it's working against you, holding you back from understanding things that everyone else understands, how do you keep on going? How do you work past that? This has been bothering me so much lately. There are things I really want to do in my life but I just feel like it's not worth the struggle. I've been through the struggle and I have failed miserably. I just don't want to go through that again. And so here I am, wanting so much that is out there, wanting to grasp it and make it mine, yet only have what is right here with me and nothing more. <br />
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If I can make my legs and my lungs do what feels impossible, then maybe, just maybe I can make my brain work and do things I didn't think it could do as well. I just need to give myself the dedication, I need to be strong and know that it's going to be hard, I may fail at times and I may even embarrass myself. If I try hard enough, maybe then I can do it.<br />
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And so my dear friend; we'll call him Running, is teaching me something. I don't like what he has to say to me most times. He's saying "It's going to be tough. It's not always fun, and you might even embarrass yourself. But you CAN do it.. do you want it enough to handle the bad that goes with the good?" And so I ignore him for awhile, kind mad at him. Why can't it be easier? Why must I struggle? But in the end, I know he's right. And honestly I think he knows more about me than I know about myself. <br />
And you just thought running was a sport? Yeah I did too, until I became involved.karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-51856860773800719412011-12-20T21:54:00.000-08:002011-12-20T21:54:50.928-08:00getting readySo I'm up, taking a break from folding laundry. <br />
We are anticipating the big trip to Pennsylvania early Friday morning. Call me crazy but I love the drive.. well kinda..right up until about when it's about 5/6 hours in and I realize we are now only half way after all this time. But then it gets exciting again after another 100 miles..I count down by 100 miles. It's amazing how fast 100 miles can go when you have a movie for the kids to watch, food in every one's belly and a nice conversation with the husband or my nook in hand. It's actually quite nice sometimes. I love love LOVE the first hour of being on the road. the quiet sneaking around in the completely dark, getting everything ready. Everyone in the neighborhood is asleep but us. Mentions of seeing nana and pap-pap to get the kids moving.. we whisper and sneak around; careful not to make a disturbance. and then on the road we go.. Maybe we'll see a headlight here and there but mostly we are alone and the air feels so thick of darkness, the quiet excitement. I don't know, maybe I'm the only crazy one in the family that feels this way, but I love it. I love driving and watching the sun start to peek through, I love the routines we have down to make the long ride easier. I love that we now have a VAN with a dvd player! I know we'll have screaming and fighting and whining, but right now I want to relish in the pleasures of driving for 10-12 hours with 3 kids, 5 and under. I am wondering how it will be for Noah. He is getting older and much more vocal in what he doesn't like. This shall be interesting! Also we have decided to forward face him. now. I keep battling myself on this issue. I really wanted to wait until he was 2, since it is now recommended and such a simple step to keep him safe. but I do think we need to do it for this trip and I'll see how it goes after that. He will be 2 in Feb so it's not too far away. <br />
So yes, as I was saying, I am folding the never ending pile of laundry. Packing and cleaning the house is the worst part of the tri to Pennsylvaina, not including teary good byes to loved ones yet again, knowing you'll see them again in 6 months. <br />
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I'm excited! not even for Christmas but for HOME! I can't believe I grew up here wanting to leave. As I got older I knew it was a great place to have a family and living somewhere else had confirmed that for me. It's home, and nothing can ever change that for me.karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-19748967811859585272011-12-16T10:48:00.000-08:002011-12-16T14:55:45.911-08:00Waiting.. God works in wonderful ways. I graduated high school not having a clue what I wanted to do. I got to watch my friends and classmates go off to college. THEY had it all figured out. Not me. I wasn't even close. Oh I interviewed and visited a few schools, desperately trying to figure it out, even trying to force myself to like a new plan I made up for myself. I would get excited about it but I knew my heart wasn't quite in it enough.<br />
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My friends were all gone, I was lonely and not making quite the right choices in my life that I should have been making.. You could say I turned my back on God. I remember talking with God and saying "Ok I can take it from here now.. I'm not sure what <strong>your </strong>plans are for me, but it's starting to feel like you aren't really here for me after all." It's no surprise that this was when things got really tough for me. I'm not even sure if I realized how low I have gotten but I was numb, and sad, and just not well.<br />
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Looking back, I think I was just filling a void of uncertainty, maybe even shame that I didn't know what I was going to do in my life when it seemed like everyone had it figured out. I was lonely. I was sad and just a confused mess. I could go on and on about that time in my life. So many bad things happened yet it was one of the most important times in my life because I came out of it stronger then ever. More sure of myself and sure of God and his love and plan for me. I got to a point where I said a prayer, asking for an answer about a guy I liked way more then I should have, another void I was filling I guess. I got that answer so loud and clear. I realized God was there for me, just waiting for me. It took way too long but I did come back. I remember my dad telling me that I gave my heart God, he lives there in my heart, and there is nothing I can do to turn him away now. He's just waiting on me and ready for me to come back. That once I am a follower of Christ, I will not be forsaken, even when I mess up terribly and forget about Him. That is the beauty of it all. <br />
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I began to search. I read the Bible.. the book of Romans was a good one for me. I was highlighting, underlining and copying down so many verses that really just hit me. My eyes were open and I felt like those words were written just for me.<br />
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I came to realize that God really has a plan for me. I had no idea what it might be but I need to trust in Him. I came to peace to the fact that maybe God's plan was for me to never get married. Maybe His plan for me was to be stuck in a job that I didn't like for awhile. I had no idea but I was going to trust in Him and be happy knowing that He has that plan figured out, I don't need to figure it all out, I can just live my life and follow Jesus and do my best at what was handed to me at that moment.<br />
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Just 9 months after I came to peace with this realization, I met Matt. I knew very early on that it was something very special. Soon after becoming married, I got pregnant and be came a mother. <br />
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8 years have now passed since that hard time in my life. Now that I am a mother, I realize how much I love pregnancy,labor, birth, newborns, breastfeeding.. all of it. I know when My kids get older I am going to want to work with pregnant women. How in the world woul<span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;">d </span>I have known that before? I needed to go through it all to realize how special it was to me. God had this plan for me, he knew what was in my heart even though I didn't know it at the time. Now I have to wait some more. Wait for my kids to get older so I can do that dream job that I have been searching for for so long. I am Ok with waiting some more. I know God is looking out for me now, and everything will come with time.<br />
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It's amazing the way He works. When I am having a hard time, I always think back to that troubled time in my life and I remember HE is there waiting for me, even when it doesn't feel like it. He has a plan for me, and it's a good plan.. a plan writen out just for me.<br />
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These are just a few verses that I wrote down during that hard time.. you can just see what I was thinking or feeling as you read them. I'm so glad I recorded them to look back on when I need it.:<br />
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Romans 7:18-20<br />
For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. <br />
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1 Corinthians 10:13<br />
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And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. <br />
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Romans 12:2<br />
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.<br />
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Romans 8:38-39<br />
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. <br />
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Romans 8:15<br />
The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba,Father.” <br />
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1 Corinthians 15:33<br />
Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”<br />
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2 Corinthians 12:9-10<br />
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. <br />
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Romans 6:21-22<br />
What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-21465927096556528162011-12-16T10:16:00.000-08:002011-12-17T16:49:11.627-08:00It's Time I realize it's time to sign up for a 5K. I think it's time to sign up and prove something to myself. <br />
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Although I know I have ran 3 miles in the past, I have not been running like I should, 3 miles is now very very hard for me. I did it before, and I know I can do it again with more practice. The only way for me to have the motivation to improve is to sign up for a race. <br />
I'm scared! I don't do this sort of thing and I am terrified. I hate to fail at things, I hate to mess up and not do a good job, which has made running really hard for me because I get so frustrated at myself when I don't do well, which for a beginner, is something that happens often. Instead of wanting to improve and keep working on it until I get better, the little voices inside tell me to just stop because I am not good at it,why bother do it? I need to show those voices who's boss now! I need to stop letting my fear of failure get the best of me. I need to just try things, even if I'm not good at them. The fear of failing holds me back from trying so many things in life and that needs to change. <br />
I will be 29 years old in March. When I am older, I want to look back and feel like I have lived and have done things that in my heart I wanted to do. So starting now I will start doing. I will ignore those voices telling me I can't do it. Who cares if I'm not good at it? Why should that stop me from trying? How will I get better if I don't try? When I grow older, I want to love my life I lived, I want to feel proud of myself and what I have done. Better yet, I want my kids to grow up and see that their mom wasn't holding herself back, wasn't scared. Well maybe she was scared.. being scared is normal and is ok, but letting the fear control you isn't good. How will I encourage my children to go out there and experience life if I can not do that for myself? <br />
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I want to enter my 30s and feel GOOD about ME. So this year is the perfect time to start. I will run a race.. I will run a few races. Who know, maybe I'll even try to learn to play an instrument.. I have wanted to do that for so long, why notdo that as well? After that.. who knows? There are so many things I have wanted to do but held myself back. Not anymore!karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-35818598982802600872011-12-10T21:44:00.000-08:002011-12-10T21:47:26.628-08:00St Nicholas Day<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">The merry family gatherings –</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">The old, the very young;</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">The strangely lovely way they</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Harmonize in carols sung.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">For Christmas is tradition time</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Traditions that recall</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">The precious memories down the years,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">The sameness of them all.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">-Helen Lowrie Marshall</span><br />
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I wanted to post this a few days ago but had some trouble with the pics. Here was our St Nick day this year on Monday, December 6, 2011. <br />
The girls awoke early and started to tear into the stockings. Thankfully I woke up just in time to catch them and have them get dressed for school and eat breakfast first. <br />
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We have changed around the old tradition of finding candy or gifts in boots/shoes to stocking stuffers. We don't do stockings for Christmas but I still love stocking stuffers, so we do them for St Nicholas day now.<br />
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<a href="http://s123.photobucket.com/albums/o281/karaboo_03/?action=view&current=P1020260-1.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="240px" src="http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o281/karaboo_03/P1020260-1.jpg" width="320px" /></a><br />
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My aunt made that stocking holder a while ago for our family when I was a kid. I remember it from when I was younger and am so thankful to have to now, we really needed one and it's so pretty! Since Matt and I don't do stocking for each other and we only have three kids, I think we'll have to get our dog Sadie a stocking!<br />
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Here are a few pictures that morning. I was without coffee at this point so picture-taking was not high priority; sleep and/or coffee was. <br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://s123.photobucket.com/albums/o281/karaboo_03/?action=view&current=P1020261.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="240px" src="http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o281/karaboo_03/P1020261.jpg" width="320px" /></a></div> Sadie is getting in on the action, even<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifzNjWsl0ohVxqOnFWPIi2UogPf2HqaJtiASDe6p09jHryta7PU1_DIeRimABdaJ-oVlee5n0nMr4KEbtmD3y1IqQd3r-51dA6Gn3qTewnBtTG_wI6IXAuR346ycMVaecRuTRmpWMpmsg/s1600/stnickday.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320px" mda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifzNjWsl0ohVxqOnFWPIi2UogPf2HqaJtiASDe6p09jHryta7PU1_DIeRimABdaJ-oVlee5n0nMr4KEbtmD3y1IqQd3r-51dA6Gn3qTewnBtTG_wI6IXAuR346ycMVaecRuTRmpWMpmsg/s320/stnickday.jpg" width="239px" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Emily with her loot laid all around her. (Still dark outside!)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">We eventually had to wake Noah up. Clearly as you can see in this picture, getting presents was not as exciting for him as we imagined. The boy loves his sleep- can't blame him!</div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-81728071156466476932011-12-02T22:31:00.000-08:002011-12-02T22:36:13.718-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>I don't write about or mention Matt on my blog much; which I think he appreciates actually, but he's been on my mind lately (more then normal at least) and when something is on my heart and on my mind, I have to blog it.<br />
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It's just that it amazes me how much closer we've gotten, that I could ever be this close with someone. I think back to how we got engaged after dating for only 11 months when I was <em>almost </em>21 years old. We were engaged for about 1 1/2 years before getting married. He still had one year of college to finish but we figured why wait, what difference will it make if we know we'll be together anyway? So we get married in June. I found out I was pregnant October 24th. I remember that day so clearly. The disbelief, the worry of how the heck are we going to do this, we clearly can't afford it! The fact that we are just getting to know each other as husband and wife, and now a baby? I wanted a baby soon after getting married, but was hoping to try after a year of marriage. I was a little excited but mainly scared and worried about how Matt would react. We have talked about baby stuff in the past and I know he mentioned that he (and us as a couple) were clearly not ready yet. So I do what any women does when distressed: call my mom. Yes my mom was the first to find out. She consoled me until Matt came home later the day. So he comes home to my mom and I sitting down looking serious and worried . My mom leaves and I start the conversation with "I have something to tell you that you aren't going to like" HAHA! I can't believe I said it like that! The thoughts of what must have gone through the poor guys head! So after telling him, he sighs a huge sigh of relief and is.. get this.. actually excited! So this begins our journey. <br />
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It's been tough at times. The first two years were especially hard on us as a married couple.. getting to know each other as a married couple while I have those pregnancy hormones, insecurities and all the other <em>"wonderful"</em> stuff that comes with pregnancy. Then we have this little baby neither one of us knows anything about, not much sleep, and awhole new dynamic of the house.. all this adding more stress. It was not easy at times. but we knew we had to and could do it<br />
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6 1/2 years and 3 kids later and I look at my husband and I feel so <em>lucky.</em> I have seen him grow so much as a husband and a father. I am so proud of him and all he does.. for going to work every day to provide a pay check in order for us to live, working 2 jobs even once. I'm proud of the hard work he puts into h<br />
is work, he doesn't just show up, he goes above and beyond and gives it his all, and it shows. A father: I'm proud to see him with the kids.. He may not know this, but his patience is growing and I see the nurturing side of him coming out more then it ever has. He is there for them. He bring out the silliness for them but can get serious too when needed. I'm proud! As a husband: he lifts me up. As a couple we have learned the right way to fight, that when you fight it isn't a free for all- you don't try to hurt each others feeling and put them down, I'm lucky to have a husband that knows this and respects me, even when angry at me. He says he's sorry when it's needed: such a simple act but it does and means so much! I can always count on him being here for me. <br />
I am so thankful that we both changed in the same ways, we changed together rather then growing apart because of the chaos.<br />
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I prayed for him before I even knew him. I knew God had a plan for me, I really had no idea what the plan was and was ready to accept it, no matter what that may may have been..but then I found him and knew right away Matt was God's plan for me.<br />
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Sometimes life is a struggle, other times it's easy and fun; but it's my life and it's with my husband and my three beautiful children and I am so unbelievably blessed by God<br />
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There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company <br />
than a good marriage. <br />
~ Martin Luther ~karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-11629304899087383272011-11-28T08:16:00.000-08:002011-11-28T08:28:20.213-08:00Dear Lord.. Why?<div style="line-height: 0px; padding-bottom: 2px;"> <a href="http://pinterest.com/pin/17873729740630105/" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="320px" src="http://media-cdn.pinterest.com/upload/17873729740630105_S6PcFmjV_c.jpg" width="227px" /></a></div><br />
I have been long overdue for a good run. I thought my soul needed it more then my body. This was confirmed when I tuned in to the Praise and Worship station on Pandora and was 5 steps in and started to cry. It's funny how running can do that to me, it just brings something<span style="background-color: white;"> </span>out in me, a sort of outlet. I keep a lot inside in day to day life and when I run, I let go of a lot of things that have been bottling up. Most times I don't even have to let it go, but it just pours out uncontrollably.<br />
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Sometimes it's so easy to feel somewhat wronged by God. You know He has a plan for you, you have other wants and plans, but it just doesn't always work out your way and it can HURT. Sometimes things seem silly or unreasonable when you say it out loud. sometimes you might not even understand why you feel the way you do- it sure would be easier if you didn't feel this way.. Sometimes you just want to ask God "WHY?" Why have you chosen this for me? <br />
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During my run I have realized that I was praying the wrong prayer. Asking for something<span style="background-color: white;"> </span>that is not in his plans. I need to ask to be at peace with what his plans for me. Honestly I am not ready to do that yet. I feel as though that is giving up on a dream.. maybe a dream that makes no sense to anyone but me.. but it's my dream. And when I do pray that He helps me to come to peace with His plans for me, I know the healing will start but I just can't do it yet. I know God is there just waiting to heal me.<br />
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I'm glad my God is a patient God. <br />
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<div style="line-height: 0px; padding-bottom: 2px;"><a href="http://pinterest.com/pin/17873729740771296/" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="400px" src="http://media-cdn.pinterest.com/upload/17873729740771296_HKJZhrc9_c.jpg" width="400px" /></a></div><div style="float: left; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="color: #76838b; font-size: 10px;">Source: <a href="about:blank" style="color: #76838b; font-size: 10px; text-decoration: underline;">Uploaded by user</a> via <a href="http://pinterest.com/karagraaf/" style="color: #76838b; font-size: 10px; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank">Kara</a> on <a href="http://pinterest.com/" style="color: #76838b; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank">Pinterest</a></div></div>karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-34002136094673633792011-11-27T09:53:00.000-08:002011-11-27T10:03:26.563-08:0010 Random Things About Emily<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggKwC2FhrrKjmUQHPTil5gvkijaDgqqW3PUM5qQCNO4w2YMl6NS77GigR6HGFLGfsgXUHqWnrCL0FRjdQgxfWBo_B31AY7Yd5Pf00o9ipG1nR8_OTbxKueYdVCoidSd0cA3rDVSbbLjIo/s1600/emilycloseup-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="320px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggKwC2FhrrKjmUQHPTil5gvkijaDgqqW3PUM5qQCNO4w2YMl6NS77GigR6HGFLGfsgXUHqWnrCL0FRjdQgxfWBo_B31AY7Yd5Pf00o9ipG1nR8_OTbxKueYdVCoidSd0cA3rDVSbbLjIo/s320/emilycloseup-1.jpg" width="240px" /></a></td></tr>
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</tbody></table>1. Every time I put Emily in the bath, about 5 minutes later I'll catch her cold, naked little dripping wet tush running around the house, scavenging for toys to bring in the tub. It cracks me up, it happens almost every time, no matter what i put in the tub with her.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL6XSlP5aBVgZrH2AifJ2vBYmd8TWcm1v88qFLPl9Lv5c3F5c3O8pVArzvDAu_0Y827DKobRHBQHSmJopr-y9H4f9xuvKhT8Dr9X8-5iWnobSRX-IZuwjNr9WxAhJwjJuW6RvzKwc3ZPI/s1600/IMG_6248.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="320px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL6XSlP5aBVgZrH2AifJ2vBYmd8TWcm1v88qFLPl9Lv5c3F5c3O8pVArzvDAu_0Y827DKobRHBQHSmJopr-y9H4f9xuvKhT8Dr9X8-5iWnobSRX-IZuwjNr9WxAhJwjJuW6RvzKwc3ZPI/s320/IMG_6248.JPG" width="240px" /></a><br />
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2. When Emily has something she really wants to tell you, she'll gently yet firmly hold on your jaw and have you look her right in the eye and tell with a slow, steady whisper.<br />
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3. Emily doesn't say the word "don't" she instead says "not". As in, "I not like this" or "I not know"<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO9_XiWN3qn_Ju28CWYGAcUqJ7yZB0sasnhpXJixod7NmHaI6fLttQXqgqbstQYYhN07b-kJXGklB3d37qUt399NnqLBrG5r2uHIlGGvasuNoLA292iCrsXbf7O-FOwXgm45heWAzwVSo/s1600/emilyborn2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="240px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO9_XiWN3qn_Ju28CWYGAcUqJ7yZB0sasnhpXJixod7NmHaI6fLttQXqgqbstQYYhN07b-kJXGklB3d37qUt399NnqLBrG5r2uHIlGGvasuNoLA292iCrsXbf7O-FOwXgm45heWAzwVSo/s320/emilyborn2.jpg" width="320px" /></a><br />
4. Emily's hair. It's just like mine. Her hair will look beautiful but it will frustrate her as she gets older. She will wish hers held a curl like Claire's does. And I will be there to share that frustration, and remind her how beautiful and silky smooth her hair is, even if it doesn't hold any sort of style! <br />
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5. I love that Emily seems to have my body. I don't know why, I just do!<br />
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6. No matter how mean she can get, she has a real loving nurturing side as well. I used to think she was the little mommy of the house. The terrible twos and threes changed that. Now that she's around 3 1/2, that little mommy is coming back out at times. Oh how I missed that side of her!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitU2dWbW_FZLEpJ1wD-_Lqctu61yaaUmzuwHYFPrDRGUkgEvAPHsZm99BMv7wPEIKlnQK4UxjNsKF7BZo03GYGnlAgo8bYZPQ2FGLu7CzOQhOFah3DG9nt-oapesNyXUvBa2iVU8XDasI/s1600/emilynoah7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="240px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitU2dWbW_FZLEpJ1wD-_Lqctu61yaaUmzuwHYFPrDRGUkgEvAPHsZm99BMv7wPEIKlnQK4UxjNsKF7BZo03GYGnlAgo8bYZPQ2FGLu7CzOQhOFah3DG9nt-oapesNyXUvBa2iVU8XDasI/s320/emilynoah7.jpg" width="320px" /></a><br />
7. She loves to kill bugs though. She acts like she likes them but then eagerly smashes them. I have to stop her from going after the really big ones in the house because she is not that quick, and they'll get loose! <br />
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8. She loves to make friends and talk to kids. She'll just randomly talk to any kid. They don't always understand her, but that's OK! <br />
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9. Emily gets scared very easily. she doesn't like being picked up too high over your head or swung around. she doesn't like any movies that have scary parts.. such as Shrek, Toy Story 3, the 3rd Tinkerbell movie, pretty much all the princess movies scare her as well. <br />
<img border="0" hda="true" height="320px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_Sfm6eA_6-0FKIwD5THSjAtvFLlRkBofY4IoeibF_rB-VUb4uXzf-wyxNqlSxtdcavOTF3a4zqL-q-8Zsh0IP52AiDkGl71LIZg-TwIL0-zd9uVZg49vO9jerejBWj4oHuhJMMeG1WsI/s320/P1020215.JPG" width="240px" /><br />
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10.Emily is very hot and cold.. she is lovin life to the fullest or not lovin it at all. she was like this as a baby- a sweet, happy, smiley girl or angry, screaming thrashing thing..<br />
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</div>karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-18110990310354528952011-11-24T23:54:00.000-08:002011-11-25T04:53:24.499-08:00ThanksgivingThanksgiving was a success. I still miss seeing a lot of our family but I got a little more used to it now that we've had a few holidays away from home under our belt. <br />
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I miss the loudness of family members yelling excitedly and laughing loudly. I miss how at my grandparents we eat then go in the living room to talk and drink coffee all while picking through the dessert table as we pass through the dinning room. I miss having cousins play together- they are just getting to that great age where they can really have fun together! I miss how at my in laws house I can count on some fun conversations being had! you can also count on football flashing across the tv screen. There are dogs running around, trying to hide from pestering children, or else they are resting in their crates from exhaustion of small kids running around (don't we know how that feels!) I even miss how I almost always bump my head on the light over the table. After so many times of eating dinner there, I still do it. And better yet, I act suprised afterwards. Yes, I miss you too, light fixture! <br />
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As much as I miss these things just so much more, I know I can't dwell on it. I need to look to the things going on right NOW. Today started off with princess movies but eventually we watched the parade. Claire fell asleep while watching it and cuddling with me.*love* This year was the first year that I made a meal that turned out well: everything was timed right and finished cooking at the same time and tasted pretty good! That is big for me! Timing is everything and I struggle with that! Today we went around to hear what we are thankful for and it melts my heart to hear Claire talk. What a sweet, wonderful big girl she is turning into! Later she asked me to cuddle and we did just that for awhile. Hearing her say a prayer of thanks tonight all on her own when I tucked her in was so special for me. I'm so happy to watch her grow, loving our Lord and eager to talk with Him.<br />
<br />
It was a nice Thanksgiving and I hope everyone else hada great day as well!karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-44993439816486678432011-11-14T19:00:00.000-08:002011-11-14T19:02:44.631-08:00..cookies..Let me preface this by saying I am not good at cooking with my kids. I want to be, but it's just hard for me. So..<br />
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I'm not sure why I chose today to be the day we make and decorate a few gingerbread cookies; The day I got little to no sleep and running on empty with a husband not around to help.. but I did. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ-pU2ob_OkBNnUcxID6IEDystjmHDUxf3rzCRubYBDuYlCt6_coAgxMyAeH6bHvYoFDo4LCXY462CksDEYyu4l51KBlMOhscm1d4FbDsGDKwfbiXyk8B_3dUyU51nk5LgM7QwoCjFK38/s1600/IMG_9197.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240px" nda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ-pU2ob_OkBNnUcxID6IEDystjmHDUxf3rzCRubYBDuYlCt6_coAgxMyAeH6bHvYoFDo4LCXY462CksDEYyu4l51KBlMOhscm1d4FbDsGDKwfbiXyk8B_3dUyU51nk5LgM7QwoCjFK38/s320/IMG_9197.JPG" width="320px" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I had to remind myself a few times to keep my cool.. just let it go, stop freaking out, just let them have fun.. </div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">admittedly it was not a good idea to do it tonight but it passed the time and most importantly the kids loved it, so I guess that's all that matters. Next time I hope to enjoy it with them, but now that it's over I realize it wasn't so bad.</div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">with the exception of those tiny sprinkles that have managed to get everywhere and I still feel them on the bottom of my feet even though I swept the floor 5 times.</div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> My kids can drive me crazy at times but man, they warm my heart more then I ever realized was possible. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I'm so lucky.</div> <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2Q1LwkBotoB3GOOpAv4ezZy-OaRPKfS_jZt4NEG7f9_yAc0kiVhyphenhyphenKiYsOKlv2sHCjbu7Hmyg6T3TpBYYNUi7iKr1HFnCxQpgAquF7lfDZm4LH5PGlAQvGBKmPkp_Eb-skFpBqu3sZnTY/s1600/IMG_9204.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240px" nda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2Q1LwkBotoB3GOOpAv4ezZy-OaRPKfS_jZt4NEG7f9_yAc0kiVhyphenhyphenKiYsOKlv2sHCjbu7Hmyg6T3TpBYYNUi7iKr1HFnCxQpgAquF7lfDZm4LH5PGlAQvGBKmPkp_Eb-skFpBqu3sZnTY/s320/IMG_9204.JPG" width="320px" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguP_r6BFC53GmgCFeknApFmP25EeInAZ_npf0ir9Mvdatyc0mUugaeuhmDOyR-v8PsvBrC2I0vyka_6Iv2-Irhm3D4UyQTLno0Kn-mZgAN0csUK2GxLiQsx1Z0JvszmhXqGLoVEIbPDmc/s1600/IMG_9212.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240px" nda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguP_r6BFC53GmgCFeknApFmP25EeInAZ_npf0ir9Mvdatyc0mUugaeuhmDOyR-v8PsvBrC2I0vyka_6Iv2-Irhm3D4UyQTLno0Kn-mZgAN0csUK2GxLiQsx1Z0JvszmhXqGLoVEIbPDmc/s320/IMG_9212.JPG" width="320px" /></a></div>karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-37953399898483126302011-11-09T10:51:00.000-08:002011-11-09T10:51:17.056-08:00 Ok, I said I was gonna do so here I am- I'm bringing it back. My blog, that is! So here is my feeble attempt to give this a go. <br />
Things got a bit crazy over the summer. Not that I expected any less. It was hot and we were in the house trying to keep cool, yet going stir crazy. Not to mention Emily was in the worst of the whole terrible twos thing and it was bad! School is here now and Claire is in school from 8:00- 2:30 and Emily is in school every other day form 9:00-12:00.. and that leaves me with not just a lot of running around and picking up/ dropping off, but also a chance to catch my breath. Of course I seem to waste this time by doing nothing constructive or worth while. Keep in mind I still have a very busy 20 month old with me at all times, which is pretty nice to have him to myself a little bit! I figure now I am a few months into school. I got my chance to slack off a bit (haha. yeah.) now it's time to buckle down and do some things that need to be done or do things that I want to do but find laziness as an excuse not to do them. Writing my blog is one of those things on my list but more things I want to get better at follows:<br />
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Devotions/time with God every day. I try to do this but it just doesn't always happen and that needs to change. I also want to start a prayer list. I always mean to do that but it never happened<br />
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First thing in the morning I will put in a load of laundry and then wash, fold and put away a load of laundry a day (not including the diapers, which i tend to wash at night) I have clothes separated in 3 baskets and whichever is fullest gets washed. Sometimes I don't get to the folding/putting away until the kids are sleeping.. sometimes it gets done the next day (shhhh)<br />
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Clean each room in the house for 10-15 minutes. This should happen on a Tuesday probably. I tend to do best when working against the clock so it's pretty amazing what I can get done when I set a timer for 15 minutes and get to cleaning! the timer goes off and I stop what I'm doing and don't look back until next time. <br />
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Going to bed earlier. I stay up way too late!! It's my "me time" and I need it. Yet I ruin myself the whole next day when I am exhausted and feeling like I can't do a thing. Also my temper seems to come out more often. I NEED to get more sleep. So if you see me on facebook or pinterest at 12 or 1.. maybe even 2am.. (yeah, it happens) tell me to go to bed!<br />
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Now that I am going to be much more rested, I also want to start running in the morning. It would be so much easier to do that and get it out of the way because if I don't, then it tends to get pushed in the back of the To Do list.<br />
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This stuff seems so simple right? So why is it so hard for me? I can't blame it all on having 3 small kids (But I just might, because that is much easier) I am just not the most motivated person, so I need to start small, although this really isn't that small for me.<br />
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This is my commitment, my promise to myself. I will do this for one month and then see just how much happier and put together I feel. I'll let y'all know around December 9thkaragraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-90335918593135190082011-09-08T05:26:00.000-07:002011-09-08T09:30:24.318-07:00My ClaireI pray you have the strength to ask questions<br />
That you have the heart to help others who need a hug<br />
The courage to stand up for what you believe in<br />
And the guidance to pick out good friends<br />
<br />
Day three of kindergarten and I cried more today then ever. Maybe it's because today I am also meeting Emily's preschool and I am realizing how big both of my kids are getting. However, I think the fact that this is really happening, she is really in school now and won't get out until she is all grown is hitting me. Now the days will really zip by, if they haven't already zipped by fast enough. It's sinking in and becoming reality. I have a way of blocking my emotions in an event that usually causes tears (such as when I gave birth or got married) it just never seems real until after the fact and then it hits me... Hard. I am realizing this event is no different. Now that the chaos of the first day of school is gone, my head is clearing and focusing on my little girl growing up.<br />
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I wait in the car drop off line- ok, we're up! Claire gets out "Gimme a kiss,Claire!" I yell out in a panicky voice as she is starting to get out of the car- I can't miss a kiss this morning! I get my kiss and look at her as she looks so small in front of this huge school, surrounded by a ton of kids going where they need to go. A voice in my head shouts, "She's too little! She's not ready!" <br />
"Of course she is ready, just look at her." The calm and cool person inside of me tells the crazed, panicked side.<br />
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"just ask a teacher for help, if you don't know where to go!" I shout out the door before I drive off. That is the hardest part of my day;driving away. I wonder is she too scared to ask for help like I was as a kid? Is she just walking around the giant school, feeling overwhelmed and lost? Did she make it to class on time?<br />
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I hate that part. But I look at her face and see it in her eyes: I see the uncertainty for sure, I see a little bit of fear, but what I see overriding all of that is her courage. I see this proud, excited little girl standing in front of the school, not really sure what to do but not really letting that unknown bother her either. I see a strong little girl. <br />
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"She is her father's daughter!" I think to myself and I know she'll be just fine. That's when the tears start. So many feelings at once: relief to know she will be just fine, pride because I see such a brave person in the form of a kindergartener. And then my own sadness of realizing that this time has come to an end. She is in school now. I was with her for five years and now I have to loosen my grip- just a little.karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-45986199849471322462011-08-12T11:14:00.000-07:002011-08-12T17:35:33.057-07:00A Parenting Do-Over Lately we have been having the kids sneak in our beds at night. And believe it or not, just this simple act has caused me much confusion concerning the way I parent. I am curious as to how I would raise my kids if I could erase all the books and info on parenting I have stored in my head, <strong><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What would I do differently</span></strong> and how would that affect me (us) now?<br />
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When I compare what I did with Claire to now Noah , I realize there is a significant difference. I don't feel as though one way was more superior then the other, although I will admit that I have made more bad choices with Claire for the reason the she was my first and I had no idea what I was doing. Oh how I deeply wish I could <span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>redo</strong></span> just a few things I have done.. but such is life, and I suspect I will have many more of those moments to come.<br />
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So as I was saying earlier, I have been having 2 adorable little monsters, one in particular (Emily), sneaking into our bed at night/early morning. Who knew this would cause me to think and rethink and be so confused? In my mind, when I let one of those stinkin cute monkeys crawl in bed, I feel a bit like a failure as a parent, I'm not doing my job, which should be to teach them to be confident and secure enough to sleep in their own bed at night. Instead I am a slacker mom who is too tired to get out of bed and talk to her and teach her to sleep in her bed. What a terrible mom I must be!! <span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>That's when it hit me</strong></span>: there are other moms having their kids sneak in their beds, most likely at the same time as mine are in mine; and maybe these moms are telling their child to go back to their own bed and as the child reluctantly turns around, this mom feels the guilt of not being there for her child, for letting her child down and how lonely that child must feel! <br />
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I am going to try and put these ideas that are swirling around in my head to rest and not think about what I 'should' do but look at each moment with a clean slate and<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong> new mind</strong></span>. After reading so many ideas and different parenting styles, it's very confusing up here in my head and I sort of need a do-over before I lose it! You know what, I actually don't mind all that much if a child sneaks into my bed a few times at night, some times I actually <span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><strong>(gasp!)</strong></span> enjoy cuddling with them at that time. Sometimes I wish we had a larger bed, but that doesn't mean I hate sharing, I just hate having feet in my face. Then again, there are times when I or Matt would rather them go back to their own bed and so then we simply tell them to go back to bed. Why must I make it so hard on myself?<br />
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If I could do it over again, I would have read the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg and stopped there. So a word to new parents: It's ok to read a parenting book but don't read too many and even when you read one, sometimes you have to forget it altogether and just do what feels right! And just because it feels right to you, doesn't mean it feels right to another mom and guess what? That is ok and that is what makes us different!<br />
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I understand that most parents or soon-to-be parents probably know this, but I am the type of person that wants to do everything perfectly and correctly which in return messes me up way more in the long run.<br />
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It <em>only</em> took me 5 years and 3 kids to get this, lol.karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-35889037506168782582011-08-08T10:54:00.000-07:002011-08-08T10:56:45.610-07:00Make Something Monday<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0KP2QIDxakWnG8n9lWdNzObMRAYWtuSff4QohGKzLl2mFEAvRSeu04K7pRLDNSu7Z40Bztlo5bk_ctlDETvApTlQa7NzVgsJaJo6zMJF7oEAansRewO2aSa5ggHgZMsJ6TBGxfo5ZJ9M/s1600/summer%252Bschedule.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="154px" naa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0KP2QIDxakWnG8n9lWdNzObMRAYWtuSff4QohGKzLl2mFEAvRSeu04K7pRLDNSu7Z40Bztlo5bk_ctlDETvApTlQa7NzVgsJaJo6zMJF7oEAansRewO2aSa5ggHgZMsJ6TBGxfo5ZJ9M/s320/summer%252Bschedule.jpg" width="320px" /></a></div>So as this summer is winding down, I realized it's not too late to start something fun while we still have 4 more weeks of summer left- 4 weeks is still a lot!<br />
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Today is Make Something Monday. I had to search around online to find something that we could make because I am just not naturally creative and thankfully there are thousands of people online who are!<br />
<a href="http://www.create-kids-crafts.com/summer-craft-ideas.html">http://www.create-kids-crafts.com/summer-craft-ideas.html</a><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkZjpThwFJ5hGMrz5PE8MfpR57GCTquO1DaiqVQYi8yGXWwpf3qcof-Xaiz5OwGLoxdxWlChN8mHT-7aCmsXJl4cVlSse7pIc0xgKUM9vCNhqyJ9PVcC5spSSN96pWipvAIUOsLS-yGz0/s1600/spider4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240px" naa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkZjpThwFJ5hGMrz5PE8MfpR57GCTquO1DaiqVQYi8yGXWwpf3qcof-Xaiz5OwGLoxdxWlChN8mHT-7aCmsXJl4cVlSse7pIc0xgKUM9vCNhqyJ9PVcC5spSSN96pWipvAIUOsLS-yGz0/s320/spider4.JPG" width="320px" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Make a face on a paper plate </td></tr>
</tbody></table> <br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div> <br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPb8cgVqmlbJ74twMZQ03G06QtfOBUZbJaHmOWLevejgNNv7qq-BZ6hSnWl2epPduW4YR3NZirHob-nAEMW_FAUvjSg9kYsvnVFz8pwRPtwNhmNJGcdTfzpD3FL1DaHozzRcSesKCrKfw/s1600/spider5.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240px" naa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPb8cgVqmlbJ74twMZQ03G06QtfOBUZbJaHmOWLevejgNNv7qq-BZ6hSnWl2epPduW4YR3NZirHob-nAEMW_FAUvjSg9kYsvnVFz8pwRPtwNhmNJGcdTfzpD3FL1DaHozzRcSesKCrKfw/s320/spider5.JPG" width="320px" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Glue eight strips of construction paper folded accordion-style to the paper plate to make legs (and yes, Claire is sitting on the table)</td></tr>
</tbody></table> <br />
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</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqjb5Y_zR2nscYEb-9Rm6qgUSXaKd8TsMI7iixIt53BkmK44je1tPHiBBHhOuLmzhZQAX6iAgt_8zy5QkuIlJtVK7V5Wz1RLlbde0yJvVTxuMs-52Jq_WoQHT8KVKEbdE85pe7lmIOgko/s1600/spider3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320px" naa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqjb5Y_zR2nscYEb-9Rm6qgUSXaKd8TsMI7iixIt53BkmK44je1tPHiBBHhOuLmzhZQAX6iAgt_8zy5QkuIlJtVK7V5Wz1RLlbde0yJvVTxuMs-52Jq_WoQHT8KVKEbdE85pe7lmIOgko/s320/spider3.JPG" width="240px" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Glue beads, paperclips, pennies- anything to add a bit of weight- to the ends of the legs</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div> <br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSFMTWU7hm-ROPAZAEW2gfAI8SLrcFReDuB3Gn1tdVPccrdtNK1ealRs03aN4GGlT4fD-CGqcO22cqfTOAhmBFeNoIMj76qKbyDw8t_a0z6Tdc7xfZwOKB6pGKbUv-p86YZaNyEvBgsi0/s1600/spider2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320px" naa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSFMTWU7hm-ROPAZAEW2gfAI8SLrcFReDuB3Gn1tdVPccrdtNK1ealRs03aN4GGlT4fD-CGqcO22cqfTOAhmBFeNoIMj76qKbyDw8t_a0z6Tdc7xfZwOKB6pGKbUv-p86YZaNyEvBgsi0/s320/spider2.JPG" width="240px" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">poke a hole in the middle of the plate and tie string through so you can make your spider 'walk'</td></tr>
</tbody></table> <br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLmcP77s7NeyQMbRinFBeny0qzWqBN6jwN1xxYgS3U67FliPzu_vu8QGIfbVhUWvRgXQpI9KI9V25cRoK4arFgbKJPNBE4Q2NzSijzbtzv2gC-nHK2eUnrcov3B-qszIyNV5n2Nw0sVgo/s1600/spider1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320px" naa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLmcP77s7NeyQMbRinFBeny0qzWqBN6jwN1xxYgS3U67FliPzu_vu8QGIfbVhUWvRgXQpI9KI9V25cRoK4arFgbKJPNBE4Q2NzSijzbtzv2gC-nHK2eUnrcov3B-qszIyNV5n2Nw0sVgo/s320/spider1.JPG" width="240px" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">and there you go! </td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
Claire loved her spider! Emily loved it at first but after not even 5 minutes, she got upset and riped it to shreds. : / Typical Emily.<br />
<br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> Either way, it took up some time and kept them busy! I cut out and folded up the legs ahead of time and I used hot glue because it dries quicker but the problem with that is that they couldn't help with the gluing process because it was too hot.. or maybe them not gluing things isn't a problem, I don't know..</div>karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-60673474821520197282011-08-06T16:17:00.000-07:002011-08-06T16:19:55.861-07:00C'mon, pull yourself together!!She's going to Kindergarten soon and I'm getting REALLY sad. Maybe it's all the school shopping that I have been doing and her back to school the hair cut. This is big kid stuff- I remember doing this. This is the first time in years that the end of summer means something to me. What an odd feeling.<br />
<br />
It's kicking in so bad right now, I mean it. It's my baby, my BABY! I can't possibly expect anyone to understand just how I am feeling, but I know some of you do. <br />
<br />
Here is a poem I found, I have no idea who wrote it but man did it make me cry:<br />
<br />
I wonder what you are doing right now,<br />
and if everyone is treating you kind.<br />
I hope there is a special person, <br />
I nice friend that you can find.<br />
<br />
I wonder if the teachers know<br />
just how special you are to me.<br />
and if the brightness of your heart<br />
is something she can see.<br />
<br />
I wonder if you are thinking about me, <br />
and if you need a hug.<br />
I already miss the sound of your voice <br />
and how you give my leg a tug.<br />
<br />
I wonder if you could possibly understand<br />
How hard it is for me to let you grow<br />
On this day know that my heart breaks,<br />
For this is the first step in letting my baby go<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
September 6th is the big day. Mix that with Emily going to preschool for the first time.. oye!<br />
I am being a big girl and acting excited and happy with her but I'm crumbling insidekaragraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-1425164932510762562011-08-03T22:04:00.000-07:002011-08-03T22:07:16.631-07:008 Fears<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijTEzlTpBvQp9piKHpfuKzRLLgMr9E96vmveAKVGaZlVXFclUsCHIpgaZ_T7eulEFBF0BvfZk-eeWdYFpqE8YPh-d98uOrSeifhXL2qHLyYno580Coao7UawUuuFuH_El2RaaNJ5bHzCg/s1600/10-days-you-challenge.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijTEzlTpBvQp9piKHpfuKzRLLgMr9E96vmveAKVGaZlVXFclUsCHIpgaZ_T7eulEFBF0BvfZk-eeWdYFpqE8YPh-d98uOrSeifhXL2qHLyYno580Coao7UawUuuFuH_El2RaaNJ5bHzCg/s1600/10-days-you-challenge.png" t$="true" /></a></div>eight fears..<br />
<br />
death- of me or someone I love<br />
<br />
large things- I actually found out that it's a 'phobia' Megalophobia- look it up! i freak out over expanses of earth, nuclear power plants, and quarries to name a few and want to either scream, cry, throw up, or all three. Go to google maps and chose satellite and and zoom out of a forest, river or ocean.. yeah that I can not handle.<br />
<br />
bugs- yeah, I know, I'm such a girl. It's gotten wore with every year<br />
<br />
blood/needles- tattoos and piercings don't really count, they are more of a thrill.. but bloodwork and shots- YIKES!!!<br />
<br />
making phone calls. - I know, I know,. but I REALLY hate doing it, it freaks me out<br />
<br />
meeting new people- I want to meet new people but it's scary to me<br />
<br />
failing- If I don't think it's something I can't do, then I just stop trying to do it. If I'm not perfect, then I don't even want to try it. I NEED to get over that!<br />
<br />
ghosts or people breaking into my house- mainly when Matt isn't here. I can't even take a shower or blow dry my hair with out freaking out that someone is in the same room<br />
<br />
Honestly, this list could go on and on.. I am scared of EVERYTHING! I can't even watch a scary movie trailer- no lie, I really can't. and if I do, you better believe I am making Matt go in the bathroom with me when I have to pee. I just typed the first 8 things that came to my mindkaragraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-88093177888685896852011-08-01T11:36:00.000-07:002011-08-01T11:44:01.636-07:00Nine Loves<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYKkY45XAGNKWi6zgE6lJSsRLGO6QIgpP_B6h6RENK-f6jpnZ3A5B2plqnOBfescC9hWM8qZccIRup25a1bbmM4gNYjVpXFrcc-2bT1czWOsBVvREqpzbAZY8b80AmCAPvksyuTdp4XiI/s1600/10-days-you-challenge.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="183px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYKkY45XAGNKWi6zgE6lJSsRLGO6QIgpP_B6h6RENK-f6jpnZ3A5B2plqnOBfescC9hWM8qZccIRup25a1bbmM4gNYjVpXFrcc-2bT1czWOsBVvREqpzbAZY8b80AmCAPvksyuTdp4XiI/s400/10-days-you-challenge.png" t$="true" width="400px" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Day 2: Nine Loves</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSaUjHhH4oNwwmwsAWzxEobYwQYqMRpec6tghfwVNDs1Q7SN5iRZzGe-v7zuC5Z8wx93uMdUQM2lYsQlL6f37u3Da07tL_RW6Pmzr6PMIgBJARh-BSwjerSa63TCPB4DXxyYhiUf_G1ZY/s1600/familypic3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSaUjHhH4oNwwmwsAWzxEobYwQYqMRpec6tghfwVNDs1Q7SN5iRZzGe-v7zuC5Z8wx93uMdUQM2lYsQlL6f37u3Da07tL_RW6Pmzr6PMIgBJARh-BSwjerSa63TCPB4DXxyYhiUf_G1ZY/s400/familypic3.jpg" t$="true" width="400px" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">my family</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjepZPUgpceOYsftj6Qmzd57jA3qylZ2m5e61K22BLkE7N-kLKHHMnPst1mset2boMD4_fX1qDc32VYQORTdM-naPhsAwnHrAEmOImG71k4kFp9Q4CNBoW4eIdQ4e5m85X-nc3Usqp4Avg/s1600/coffee.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjepZPUgpceOYsftj6Qmzd57jA3qylZ2m5e61K22BLkE7N-kLKHHMnPst1mset2boMD4_fX1qDc32VYQORTdM-naPhsAwnHrAEmOImG71k4kFp9Q4CNBoW4eIdQ4e5m85X-nc3Usqp4Avg/s1600/coffee.bmp" t$="true" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">coffee</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEdZYNR324OsXGhDNjFWVRbSNJK79NwWrYCE0l2N4Qw1Hjce3le3WW7ef1dp8nb_5ikxvrLEtmQVaPOgxN4Qdcsy7CKgs-dM91vXp5S9heuW-Ioj7Ev3r1C1D-1d77BEodNLmGWn57TuE/s1600/reading.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEdZYNR324OsXGhDNjFWVRbSNJK79NwWrYCE0l2N4Qw1Hjce3le3WW7ef1dp8nb_5ikxvrLEtmQVaPOgxN4Qdcsy7CKgs-dM91vXp5S9heuW-Ioj7Ev3r1C1D-1d77BEodNLmGWn57TuE/s1600/reading.jpg" t$="true" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">reading</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD2vfmp4yvR7cIDY5C-bN07N6DtFCPB6vQE-Pkw05HRxO-WRs4d5ipG9yrpKmSBvWaw67itZT3hy0qQoeFfYx_Ta2F0xsnPkWZy5GPlEze3nlc5f64AGC3gNCGY-8J3OWCJymg3BOjP7Y/s1600/honeysuckle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD2vfmp4yvR7cIDY5C-bN07N6DtFCPB6vQE-Pkw05HRxO-WRs4d5ipG9yrpKmSBvWaw67itZT3hy0qQoeFfYx_Ta2F0xsnPkWZy5GPlEze3nlc5f64AGC3gNCGY-8J3OWCJymg3BOjP7Y/s320/honeysuckle.jpg" t$="true" width="320px" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the smell of honeysuckle in the air on summer evenings</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSpGJpn068YRXZhXjifbu6njptD4gALVjUovqHgOArsUC1NlorHg6-07aV9yFdmZC9kWLl_7Ee42yVqTYDPGtbKHqc1bzVPzK7nb14-XbWxEAYJTWFX7jdP3BhEK7xv3nBSOP8fdlU3AM/s1600/jesus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSpGJpn068YRXZhXjifbu6njptD4gALVjUovqHgOArsUC1NlorHg6-07aV9yFdmZC9kWLl_7Ee42yVqTYDPGtbKHqc1bzVPzK7nb14-XbWxEAYJTWFX7jdP3BhEK7xv3nBSOP8fdlU3AM/s1600/jesus.jpg" t$="true" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jesus<br />
<br />
</td></tr>
</tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPEMVrcNMISWwg-IXlmGkkqIMAaSBasU9WjczJdtuffNb5jk6bmfBPO6HV_AYK90Xs7gM_o5VWdMz4TleRyge0fIxZiwAOy7j9MpjeMeU3oUA6MrB9-la97Q9llmRjr1Es6Md5rkSRSbA/s1600/running.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPEMVrcNMISWwg-IXlmGkkqIMAaSBasU9WjczJdtuffNb5jk6bmfBPO6HV_AYK90Xs7gM_o5VWdMz4TleRyge0fIxZiwAOy7j9MpjeMeU3oUA6MrB9-la97Q9llmRjr1Es6Md5rkSRSbA/s1600/running.jpg" t$="true" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">running and pushing myself beyond what I think possible</td></tr>
</tbody></table> <br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuqdIkY3NfkXpDI0KpVnJWw6mB0hzpN2v-wi8CDzLDHY4s92wSmua3X6o4zc-WUYjANjCh65KRo9CLKEqdHq8GOJMj54D6ica2OoxiVSEh-07oeNDb40XLgXvYTbwCKHnRzojy9tozObA/s1600/quiet+time.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuqdIkY3NfkXpDI0KpVnJWw6mB0hzpN2v-wi8CDzLDHY4s92wSmua3X6o4zc-WUYjANjCh65KRo9CLKEqdHq8GOJMj54D6ica2OoxiVSEh-07oeNDb40XLgXvYTbwCKHnRzojy9tozObA/s1600/quiet+time.jpg" t$="true" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">time to myself</td></tr>
</tbody></table> <br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQeCERD3KSolqW0Edpny5VxOSd4-358xAbsiKrl3vOhOcBAHNcA3akWBdn_WCOAsBott1NEie2wJAjMAU9-s2AGC38qesJQJhnXYTj_s17AFl9CpwhzJ0TNXNW68NMQw-_q6TOLdnxT8Q/s1600/pregnancy.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQeCERD3KSolqW0Edpny5VxOSd4-358xAbsiKrl3vOhOcBAHNcA3akWBdn_WCOAsBott1NEie2wJAjMAU9-s2AGC38qesJQJhnXYTj_s17AFl9CpwhzJ0TNXNW68NMQw-_q6TOLdnxT8Q/s1600/pregnancy.bmp" t$="true" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">pregnant bellies, births, newborns, breastfeeding- the whole shabang</td></tr>
</tbody></table> <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4OIX1Bt1lxjYFhWGETr3TaTTyoZ7D7ncjlj80MkdVSzyjkEUJIxYatpBqZV8TAEEFJYe5xD_ZzLx705r4Ale2Dk8XFZZ1KJsqPkaL7ryZzq_oUkDH3krrWO31faywWG3kZIHfj89Vmsc/s1600/PA.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4OIX1Bt1lxjYFhWGETr3TaTTyoZ7D7ncjlj80MkdVSzyjkEUJIxYatpBqZV8TAEEFJYe5xD_ZzLx705r4Ale2Dk8XFZZ1KJsqPkaL7ryZzq_oUkDH3krrWO31faywWG3kZIHfj89Vmsc/s1600/PA.bmp" t$="true" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">my hometown</td></tr>
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</div>karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-21319214761714504162011-07-27T11:47:00.000-07:002011-07-27T12:33:08.698-07:0010 secrets<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYKkY45XAGNKWi6zgE6lJSsRLGO6QIgpP_B6h6RENK-f6jpnZ3A5B2plqnOBfescC9hWM8qZccIRup25a1bbmM4gNYjVpXFrcc-2bT1czWOsBVvREqpzbAZY8b80AmCAPvksyuTdp4XiI/s1600/10-days-you-challenge.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYKkY45XAGNKWi6zgE6lJSsRLGO6QIgpP_B6h6RENK-f6jpnZ3A5B2plqnOBfescC9hWM8qZccIRup25a1bbmM4gNYjVpXFrcc-2bT1czWOsBVvREqpzbAZY8b80AmCAPvksyuTdp4XiI/s1600/10-days-you-challenge.png" t$="true" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I haven't been blogging for awhile now and I am having a difficult time getting back into it. After reading my friend<a href="http://lifewithconnorandthetwins.blogspot.com/"> Sarah's blog</a> and how she started doing the 10 day you challenge to get back into blogging, I figure that I might as well try it too! I have a feeling it may end up harder then I think.</span></div><br />
So here goes nothing.<br />
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<u><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">10 Secrets About Me</span></strong></u><br />
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1. I really enjoy the kid's Disney show Good Luck Charlie. To the point where I saw a new episode was coming on and I make a point to turn it on that channel- and the kids were sleeping. I used to hide it from Matt but now I just embrace it.<br />
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2. I went through a 'rough patch' when I was about 18 years old. Not my proudest days and a lot of sadness and darkness but yet it's what made me who I am now.<br />
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3. I got cited with underage drinking when I was 18 (see #2) I almost didn't post this because I really am not proud of that, but then I thought who I was then is not who I am now and that dark moment in my life is actually what helped me to turn around and see some light, so I need to own that.<br />
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4. I wanted to be a mom of 3 or 4 boys (This was before I had any kids. God usually has different plans)<br />
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5. I have <a href="http://www.ldanatl.org/aboutld/parents/ld_basics/dyscalculia.asp">dyscalculia</a>. I had no idea that is what it was when I was school I always just felt stupid and let that get to me with academics in general but now I know that I wasn't stupid after all and I wish I didn't let it affect me the way it did (and still does) Claire is pretty good with math and knows her left and rights better then me (yes, I still mix those up way more then a 28 yr old should.) I think she will be OK. Emily concerns me though, just because she is so much more like me.<br />
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6. I am not a good parent all the time. Sometimes(a lot of time) I don't play with the kids (right now Noah is napping and the girls are exploring outside with umbrellas and book bags filled with their lunch- and I am in the house typing this --I am right at the sliding doors so I can see and hear them at least--) I don't think I am as involved as I could be with their play. I feel guilty about this a lot. but I really do get bored playing with them all the time!<br />
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7. Don't upset me or you WILL pay! haha. I am sweet. I really am. I am not bothered by much, I get along with a lot of people. People that some that others don't even get along with. I guess at times I am a pushover even, but if I feel strong enough and I feel very serious about something or very wronged, it will not be good. It takes a lot to upset me like that, but if I am, I am VERY good at just cutting you out of my life and washing my hands clean of you! <br />
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8. We have 2 pet rats, Lucy and Cuckoo. This is a secret because I told myself and Matt that that we would not get any more small animals, but we did. I guess in a way I didn't want to fully admit it to myself that we do have them, because that would indeed make us officially an animal farm. I haven't told anyone but now it's a good time to announce it! I really like them, one is litter trained and the other one, well we are working on it! Rats are great pets for kids- the best rodents you could have!<br />
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9. I am the biggest procrastinator. Well this is truly no secret to anyone that really knows me. I really am terrible at it, so much so that if I am not careful, it can affect my life.<br />
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10. I am impulsive (see #8). This is usually a bad thing but I have heard some say it can be good. I would like to see how.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ7mQGhJrA1-ipqDZpYuwaJFg98fRFDPDlMsX_KTksutDh1m9WQ9J1QdVYYiNMjA6AG13R8G5Xnpe2YVk0HuzorDX9H0QokJDVuBAaeJonandSFMBffLohh-RfVpYa1pRQXKLXSQhBtqo/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ7mQGhJrA1-ipqDZpYuwaJFg98fRFDPDlMsX_KTksutDh1m9WQ9J1QdVYYiNMjA6AG13R8G5Xnpe2YVk0HuzorDX9H0QokJDVuBAaeJonandSFMBffLohh-RfVpYa1pRQXKLXSQhBtqo/s200/photo.JPG" t$="true" width="200px" /></a></div><br />
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So that is me and I make no apologies for it! <br />
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Next time I write, it was be 9 Loves- I have a feeling that one will be much easier!<br />
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Have a lovely day and I hope to see YOU do the day '10 Day You Challenge' as well!karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-6679864163341344762011-06-24T11:32:00.000-07:002011-06-24T11:32:08.437-07:00I am trying to get back into things here! Now that summer is here and I have all three kids with me, it's hard to find the time to do anything such as clean, run, much less work on my blog. I think it's going to take time to figure out my new summer schedule and by the time I figure it out, school will be starting and I will have to figure out something new since I'll have a child in kindergarten and one in preschool every other day.<br />
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I need to get motivated and I know I really need to learn to WAKE UP BEFORE THE KIDS. But it is so <em>hard to do!</em> I could get a lot done if I could wake up earlier. Too bad they don't wake up at 8:00 anymore, it would have been much easier!karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6090230094434411334.post-5310694753202891272011-06-17T19:49:00.000-07:002011-06-17T19:54:43.800-07:00Six years ago I was in South York , PA in my apartment. I belive I was in my bed with my best friend, my maid of Honor, Ang. My bridesmaids in the next room sleeping. I was so lucky to have such great girls near me and supporting me the night before my wedding!<br />
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Rewind about 1 and a half years.. <br />
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It's winter time. I'm 19 years old, and living in west York, with my parents. My brothers friend is visiting. I run/bounce down the stairs and practically fall as I open the door and enter the kitchen. I see a guy with his (ex?) girlfriend. If only I knew that guy was going to change my whole life. <br />
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June 18th we will be married for 6 years. While I know 6 years isn't much, I feel like we have gone through quite a lot. We have gotten pregnant just a few months after getting married, having Claire just a few weeks after our first anniversary. We have had a child about every other year since then. We have moved 4 times and one of those times was completely away from all family and friends, 600 miles away from the life that we knew. In those 6 years we have gone through some hard times and some really wonderful times too. I can confidently say that I love him more now then I ever have. I won't say these 6 years have all been easy but I wouldn't trade them for anything because I have learned much more then I could imagine. More about myself, more about what a family means. I am not the same person as I was before, and that is a good thing. <br />
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I couldn't have picked a more opposite person from me. If you pick a trait about me, most likely Matt will be opposite. But what meshes so well is our core values, our morals, and beliefs and that is the glue that has held us together and kept our bond stronger then ever. Without him I would be less, I wouldn't have been pushed, I wouldn't have learned. I truly believe that we are perfect for each other. We teach each other and learn from each other all the time. <br />
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I often think of that wintery day when I opened the door and saw him for the first time.karagraafhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02581868234671715284noreply@blogger.com1