A year ago today I was pregnant.
A year ago I couldn't even fit into maternity clothes.
A year ago I was in so much pain, I could barely walk at times. My back and hips were throbbing.
A year ago I was looking forward to my Ob/GYN appointment on Feburary 12th like a child looks forward to Christmas morning. I was ready to get membranes stripped and hopefully bring on labor!
A year ago I was worried about my blood platelets and possibly needing to get induced.
A year ago I was determined to go to the hospital early enough to get an epidural (if my platelets allowed)
A year ago I was I was scared and had many questions.. Will he be healthy? Was he going to to cry a the time? Will he be a happy baby? Was he going to sleep through the night easily? Will I be able to handle 3 kids, 3yrs and under? Will we make it through financially? Will my girls handle this addition well? (Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, Yes, yes)
A year ago I still had no clue what his name will be because Matt and I couldn't agree on one. (Top 3 names: Noah, Owen and Evan- Matt made the decision by texting a picture of Noah to our friends/family shortly after I gave birth stating time and weight and his name and he showed it to me I couldn't have been more happy!)
A year ago I was mentally preparing myself to possibly have a home birth just in case if I went into labor during the blizzard (and I was actually kind of excited over the idea!)
A year ago I was arming myself with information about breastfeeding, determined to do it for a year or longer and I couldn't wait to do it this time.
A year ago today I dreamt of just holding my little baby boy in my arms and just staring at him, just us two alone in the hospital, enjoying nothing else but each other.
I can't believe a year is almost here. It's gone way too quickly. Noah has done something to me inside. He has changed me and my ways of parenting (for better or worse, I'm not sure and I don't even really care) he has softened me, and making me more sure of myself and not so concerned about doing everything just right. I have learned to enjoy it and not worry about about all the little things that I used to worry about.. I'll get my sleep someday. I'll have my "freedom" some day, I'll take this time holding onto my baby for as long as I can. I couldn't imagine my life without this little guy in it.