"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 12:12

Friday, August 12, 2011

A Parenting Do-Over

      Lately we have been having the kids sneak in our beds at night. And believe it or not, just this simple act has caused me much confusion concerning the way I parent. I am curious as to how I would raise my kids if I could erase all the books and info on parenting I have stored in my head, What would I do differently and how would that affect me (us) now?

      When I compare what I did with Claire to now Noah , I realize there is a significant difference. I don't feel as though one way was more superior then the other, although I will admit that I have made more bad choices with Claire for the reason the she was my first and I had no idea what I was doing. Oh how I deeply wish I could redo just a few things I have done.. but such is life, and I suspect I will have many more of those moments to come.

     So as I was saying earlier, I have been having 2 adorable little monsters, one in particular (Emily), sneaking into our bed at night/early morning. Who knew this would cause me to think and rethink and be so confused? In my mind, when I let one of those stinkin cute monkeys crawl in bed, I feel a bit like a failure as a parent, I'm not doing my job, which should be to teach them to be confident and secure enough to sleep in their own bed at night. Instead I am a slacker mom who is too tired to get out of bed and talk to her and teach her to sleep in her bed. What a terrible mom I must be!! That's when it hit me: there are other moms having their kids sneak in their beds, most likely at the same time as mine are in mine; and maybe these moms are telling their child to go back to their own bed and as the child reluctantly turns around, this mom feels the guilt of not being there for her child, for letting her child down and how lonely that child must feel!

     I am going to try and put these ideas that are swirling around in my head to rest and not think about what I 'should' do but look at each moment with a clean slate and new mind. After reading so many ideas and different parenting styles, it's very confusing up here in my head and I sort of need a do-over before I lose it! You know what, I actually don't mind all that much if a child sneaks into my bed a few times at night, some times I actually (gasp!) enjoy cuddling with them at that time. Sometimes I wish we had a larger bed, but that doesn't mean I hate sharing, I just hate having feet in my face. Then again, there are times when I or Matt would rather them go back to their own bed and so then we simply tell them to go back to bed. Why must I make it so hard on myself?

    If I could do it over again, I would have read the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg and stopped there. So a word to new parents: It's ok to read a parenting book but don't read too many and even when you read one, sometimes you have to forget it altogether and just do what feels right! And just because it feels right to you, doesn't mean it feels right to another mom and guess what? That is ok and that is what makes us different!

I understand that most parents or soon-to-be parents probably know this, but I am the type of person that wants  to do everything perfectly and correctly which in return messes me up way more in the long run.

 It only took me 5 years and 3 kids to get this, lol.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Make Something Monday

So as this summer is winding down, I realized it's not too late to start something fun while we still have 4 more weeks of summer left- 4 weeks is still a lot!

Today is Make Something Monday. I had to search around online to find something that we could make because I am just not naturally creative and thankfully there are thousands of people online who are!

Make a face on a paper plate

Glue eight strips of construction paper folded accordion-style to the paper plate to make legs (and yes, Claire is sitting on the table)

Glue beads, paperclips, pennies- anything to add a bit of weight- to the ends of the legs

poke a hole in the middle of the plate and tie string through so you can make your spider  'walk'

and there you go!

Claire loved her spider!  Emily loved it at first but after not even 5 minutes, she got upset and riped it to shreds. : /  Typical Emily.

 Either way, it took up some time and kept them busy! I cut out and folded up the legs ahead of time and I used hot glue because it dries quicker but the problem with that is that they couldn't help with the gluing process because it was too hot.. or maybe them not gluing things isn't a problem, I don't know..

Saturday, August 6, 2011

C'mon, pull yourself together!!

She's going to Kindergarten soon and I'm getting REALLY sad. Maybe it's all the school shopping that I have been doing and her back to school the hair cut. This is big kid stuff- I remember doing this. This is the first time in years that the end of summer means something to me. What an odd feeling.

It's kicking in so bad right now, I mean it.  It's my baby, my BABY!  I can't possibly expect anyone to understand just how I am feeling, but I know some of you do. 

Here is a poem I found, I have no idea who wrote it but man did it make me cry:

I wonder what you are doing right now,
and if everyone is treating you kind.
I hope there is a special person,
I nice friend that you can find.

I wonder if the teachers know
just how special you are to me.
and if the brightness of your heart
is something she can see.

I wonder if you are thinking about me,
and if you need a hug.
I already miss the sound of your voice
and how you give my leg a tug.

I wonder if you could possibly understand
How hard it is for me to let you grow
On this day know that my heart breaks,
For this is the first step in letting my baby go

September 6th is the big day. Mix that with Emily going to preschool for the first time..  oye!
I am being a big girl and acting excited and happy with her but I'm crumbling inside

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

8 Fears

eight fears..

death- of me or someone I love

large things- I actually found out that it's a 'phobia'  Megalophobia- look it up! i freak out over expanses of earth, nuclear power plants, and quarries to name a few and want to either scream, cry, throw up, or all three. Go to google maps and chose satellite and and zoom out of a forest, river or ocean.. yeah that I can not handle.

bugs- yeah, I know, I'm such a girl. It's gotten wore with every year

blood/needles- tattoos and piercings don't really count, they are more of a thrill.. but bloodwork and shots- YIKES!!!

making phone calls. - I know, I know,. but I REALLY hate doing it, it freaks me out

meeting new people- I want to meet new people but it's scary to me

failing-  If I don't think it's something I can't do, then I just stop trying to do it. If I'm not perfect, then I don't even want to try it. I NEED to get over that!

ghosts or people breaking into my house-  mainly when Matt isn't here. I can't even take a shower or blow dry my hair with out freaking out that someone is in the same room

Honestly, this list could go on and on.. I am scared of EVERYTHING! I can't even watch a scary movie trailer- no lie, I really can't. and if I do, you better believe I am making Matt go in the bathroom with me when I have to pee. I just typed the first 8 things that came to my mind

Monday, August 1, 2011

Nine Loves

Day 2: Nine Loves

my family



the smell of honeysuckle in the air on summer evenings


running and pushing myself beyond what I think possible

time to myself

pregnant bellies, births, newborns, breastfeeding- the whole shabang

my hometown