"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 12:12

Friday, December 16, 2011

It's Time

    I realize it's time to sign up for a 5K. I think it's time to sign up and prove something to myself.

   Although I know I have ran 3 miles in the past, I have not been running like I should, 3 miles is now very very hard for me.  I did it before, and I know I can do it again with more practice.  The only way for me to have the motivation to improve is to sign up for a race. 
    I'm scared! I don't do this sort of thing and I am terrified. I hate to fail at things, I hate to mess up and not do a good job, which has made running really hard for me because I get so frustrated at myself when I don't do well, which for a beginner,  is something that happens often.  Instead of wanting to improve and keep working on it until I get better, the little voices inside tell me to just stop because I am not good at it,why bother do it?   I need to show those voices who's boss now! I need to stop letting my fear of failure get the best of me. I need to just try things, even if I'm not good at them. The fear of failing holds me back from trying so many things in life and that needs to change.
    I will be 29 years old in March. When I am older, I want to look back and feel like I have lived and have done things that in my heart I wanted to do.  So starting now I will start doing.  I will ignore those voices telling me I can't do it. Who cares if I'm not good at it?  Why should that stop me from trying? How will I get better if I don't try?  When I grow older, I want to love my life I lived, I want to feel proud of myself and what I have done.  Better yet, I want my kids to grow up and see that their mom wasn't holding herself back, wasn't scared. Well maybe she was scared.. being scared is normal and is ok, but letting the fear control you isn't good. How will I encourage my children to go out there and experience life if I can not do that for myself?

I want to enter my 30s and feel GOOD about ME.  So this year is the perfect time to start. I will run a race.. I will run a few races. Who know, maybe I'll even try to learn to play an instrument..  I have wanted to do that for so long, why notdo that as well?  After that.. who knows? There are so many things I have wanted to do but held myself back. Not anymore!

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