"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 12:12

Friday, December 2, 2011

I don't write about or mention Matt on my blog much; which I think he appreciates actually, but he's been on my mind lately (more then normal at least) and when something is on my heart and on my mind, I have to blog it.

It's just that it amazes me how much closer we've gotten, that I could ever be this close with someone. I think back to how we got engaged after dating for only 11 months when I was almost 21 years old. We were engaged for about 1 1/2 years before getting married. He still had one year of college to finish but we figured why wait, what difference will it make if we know we'll be together anyway?  So we get married in June. I found out I was pregnant October 24th.  I remember that day so clearly. The disbelief, the worry of how the heck are we going to do this, we clearly can't afford it! The fact that we are just getting to know each other as husband and wife, and now a baby? I wanted a baby soon after getting married, but was hoping to try after a year of marriage. I was a little excited but mainly scared and worried about how Matt would react. We have talked about baby stuff in the past and I know he mentioned that he (and us as a couple) were clearly not ready yet.  So I do what any women does when distressed: call my mom. Yes my mom was the first to find out. She consoled me until Matt came home later the day. So he comes home to my mom and I sitting down looking serious and worried .  My mom leaves and I start the conversation with "I have something to tell you that you aren't going to like"  HAHA! I can't believe I said it like that! The thoughts of what must have gone through the poor guys head! So after telling him, he sighs a huge sigh of relief and is.. get this.. actually excited!  So this begins our journey.

It's been tough at times. The first two years were especially hard on us as a married couple.. getting to know each other as a married couple while I have those pregnancy hormones, insecurities and all the other "wonderful" stuff that comes with pregnancy. Then we have this little baby neither one of us knows anything about, not much sleep, and awhole new dynamic of the house.. all this adding more stress. It was not easy at times. but we knew we had to and could do it

 6 1/2 years and 3 kids later and I look at my husband and I feel so lucky. I have seen him grow so much as a husband and a father. I am so proud of him and all he does.. for going to work every day to provide a pay check in order for us to live, working 2 jobs even once. I'm proud of the hard work he puts into h
is work, he doesn't just show up, he goes above and beyond and gives it his all, and it shows.  A father: I'm proud to see him with the kids.. He may not know this, but his patience is growing and I see the nurturing side of him coming out more then it ever has.  He is there for them. He bring out the silliness for them but can get serious too when needed. I'm proud!  As a husband: he lifts me up. As a couple we have learned the right way to fight, that when you fight it isn't a free for all- you don't try to hurt each others feeling and put them down, I'm lucky to have a husband that knows this and respects me, even when angry at me. He says he's sorry when it's needed: such a simple act but it does and means so much!   I can always count on him being here for me. 
I am so thankful that we both changed in the same ways, we changed together rather then growing apart because of the chaos.

I prayed for him before I even knew him. I knew God had a plan for me, I really had no idea what the plan was and was ready to accept it, no matter what that may may have been..but then I found him and knew right away Matt was God's plan for me.

Sometimes life is a struggle, other times it's easy and fun; but it's my life and it's with my husband and my three beautiful children and I am so unbelievably blessed by God

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company
than a good marriage.
~ Martin Luther ~

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